Sexual Assault Information and Services

• Get to a Safe Place
• Seek Medical Care

  *A Sexual Assault Forensic Exam (SAFE) will be performed by a specially trained nurse at the ER. The nurse will gather evidence from the victim's clothing and body. The exam is not required to file a police report. Patients will not be expected to pay for the evidence collection but may be billed for other treatment.

• Report the Assault/Rape

  *It can be difficult after an assault to process through things, you may be unsure what you should or shouldn't do...a crisis advocate can help you through this process. You can contact an advocate through one of the links below or visit our resource pages.

  *If you are seeking medical attention and want to file a report there are a number of steps you should take to preserve evidence:

  *Do not shower or use the restroom until you get to the hospital 

  *Place the clothes you were wearing in a trash bag and bring them with you to the hospital

  *Do not brush your teeth, eat, drink or smoke before your exam

  *Go to your local ER

  *Even if you are unsure about reporting the assault, it is better to have a SAFE exam done directly after the incident to gather evidence. You can always decide later, if you wish to report the assault.

• You can receive a SAFE exam even if you don't report the incident to the police.

Know what CONSENT means

Consent doesn't have to be verbal but must be a clear communication and given without coercion. It may be retracted at any time.

Force can come in many forms: physical restraint or when the victim is incapacitated. It can also be emotional coercion, manipulation, or intimidation. For more information on consent visit RAINN.org

Boundaries

It is healthy to set boundaries in a relationship. Even before getting into a relationship you should set your own personal boundaries and a method of accountability. Communication is key. You should feel safe sharing your boundaries with your partner. A key sign of an unhealthy relationship is if your partner demeans or disregards your boundaries.

Communication

You should feel safe discussing uncomfortable topics with your partner. In a healthy relationship you should be able to state your opinion and work through an issue without feeling dismissed, demeaned, or threatened. Of course, you need to be able to give your partner the same respect.

Go Out in Groups

Arrive together and leave together. Watch out for each other and step in if something doesn't seem right. 

Know Your Limits

Don't drink on an empty stomach and drink plenty of water. Be aware of how you are feeling and your personal consumption limits.

Trust Your Instincts

If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable at any point remove yourself from the situation. 

(RAINN.org, 2017)

Know your Sexual Rights

• The right to make your own decisions about being sexual (or not), regardless of your partner's wishes.
• The right to make your own decisions about birth control and protection from sexually transmitted infections (STIs), regardless of your partner's wishes; the right to make free and responsible reproductive choices.
• The right to stop sexual activity at any time, including during or just before intercourse.
• The right to tell anyone that you are not comfortable being hugged or kissed in certain ways.
• The right to ask a partner if she or he has been examined for sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
• The right to tell a partner what you would like sexually or to tell a partner that you would like to be hugged, cuddled, or touched without sex.
• The right to masturbate.
• The right to sexual autonomy, sexual integrity, and safety of your sexual body.
• The right to sexual privacy.
• The right to sexual equity.
• The right to sexual pleasure.
• The right to emotional sexual expression.
• The right to comprehensive sexuality education.
• The right to sexual information based upon scientific inquiry.
• The right to sexual health care.

First start by believing them!

• Listen.
• Respond without judging.
• Offer to be there if they go for a medical exam.
• Encourage them to talk to a professional counselor.
• Help them set goals for self-care.
• Be patient and allow them time to grieve.
• Watch for changes in behavior that could be harmful.
• Help them search for resources.

   

  If you see it might be happening RAINN.org tells us to C.A.R.E.

  Create a Distraction

• Interrupt by diverting the conversation, start a group activity, make your presence known.

   

  Ask Directly

• Speak to the person who may be in trouble. Do you need me to stay with you? Do you need any help?

   

  Refer to an Authority

• Go get security, a teacher, an employee, or anyone in authority and alert them to the situation. If necessary call 911.

   

  Enlist Others

• You don't have to intervene alone. There is strength in numbers. Or have a friend of the individual in distress intervene instead.

Parents:

The topic of sexual violence is a very sensitive and difficult topic to discuss but it is so important that parents take the time to teach their children good safety measures. Take the time to talk to your children about sexual violence. Discuss relationship boundaries and personal safety.

Start when your children are young...

Children are so trusting, so it is important they have an understanding of their bodies, privacy and appropriate boundaries.

• Teach them the names of their body parts and consistently use this language. This clears up any confusion if a child is to describe an incident.
• Discuss privacy of body parts. When it is appropriate (health exams) and inappropriate for these body parts to be seen or touched.
• Teach them to say "NO" to these invasions of privacy and that they never deserve to be treated this way. Tell them to report it to a trusted adult right away.
• Reassure them they will not be "in trouble" for letting someone know. 
• Encourage them to care for others by reporting an incident done to any other child as well.
• Never disregard what a child says about an incident!

Protecting your older child...

• A Relationship that Cares

  Always seek to develop and maintain a good relationship with your child. Show and verbalize that you care about their everyday activities. When a good relationship is already in place, your child is more prone to discuss the hard topics with you. Make sure they know, no matter what they do you will always be there to listen and help them through things.

• Know the People they Spend Time With

  Get to know everyone that your child interacts with and speak openly about them. 

• Discuss Healthy Relationships

  Talk about the basic human needs of love and acceptance and the healthiest ways of meeting those needs. Discuss the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships. Teach them how to set relationship boundaries and have an accountability partner. 

• Develop Strong Self-Worth

  Teach them their worth as an individual with a unique personality and set of gifts that can be utilized to benefit the world around them. Help them to realize this will always be true no matter what others may say or think. Discuss the danger of peer pressure.

• Use the News as a Teaching Tool

When stories of sexual violence are covered use them as a teaching tool. Ask them "How would you respond in that situation?" Use it as a review of what to do and not do in a situation.

These discussions can be even more challenging as your children become teenagers but continue to be just as important